Cafe Hermosa Needs Menos Cosméticos Y Mas Café

Along 7th near the bike path there is a little coffee shop on the corner that would seem like a great little place to stop, get your coffee and be off to where ever it is you are going. In fact I did just that because it was on my way and seemed so convenient. I should have known better. It actually is not as easy as one might think if you were not on you bike or on foot, but that wasn't the problem. I went in hoping for a little perk me up in the afternoon with a little snack thinking that this might be just what the blood sugar ordered. When I ordered my coffee, I thought that it was poorly made. Made close to the specifications, but for the most part tasteless. I also ordered a couple of baked items which they were out of which relegated me to a muffin. I thought, "Muffins aren't a bad thing-" unless of course you are going to be slapped for twoonie and handed over a Costco Blueberry Muffin. Hello!? How could a cafe with all of the packaging of somewhere that had their act together get the important stuff so wrong? I don't know if I want to risk having to go back to see if they got it right. Maybe in time I can go back and try to see if they can make it up to me but for now I wll travel that extra block and a half to Main street and go to Gene, where they got the coffee to taste good and look pretty.

Out of the five cups of starch found in a single Costco Muffin
Scene: 1 No one was in there at the time which should have said something to me in the first place. Secondly the person who was working there looked as though she didn't even want to be there.

Grub: 1 No selection. No more with the Costco muffins.

Coffee: 1 It wasn't good. It just wasn't good.

Not Much to Roar About at the Lion's Den

The Lion’s Den café can be seen behind the little pie piece median from the intersection of Fraser and Kingsway. It is a little hole in the wall with a big personality. I couldn’t help but be constantly surprised once I stepped through its doorway. At first sight, you cannot help but be accosted by the Jamaican Bob Marleyesque décor which is literally crowned with a taxidermy lion over head. The person behind the counter was, I believe, to be a wildly outspoken Japanese woman who told us that we had to serve ourselves our own coffee, because she could not take care of us all day because she was by herself and she was hung over. As we served ourselves coffee from the eclectic thrift store mugs, we couldn’t help but notice that the menu was a fusion of your diner breakfast, Jamaican dishes nicely rounded out by your option of Japanese delights. We opted for the standard eggs, hash and bacon (which we were promptly told that there may be too many of us in the café and that there may not be enough bacon for everybody!) to set at least a baseline for food. To our surprise when we looked past the dumbwaiter window, we couldn’t help but notice that the kitchen was a kitchen one might find in a rental suite with about the same quality utensils. While we waited, we noticed a steady flow of people until the second staff member arrived. The actual breakfast was a decent enough home style breakfast and the wait wasn’t nearly as long as expected. It actually appeared that the place, despite it quirks, had a steady routine of abuse customers, take their orders and give them enough service that they might come back. Would I come back? Would I be a regular? Not on your life. But it’s kind of like after being hit in dodgeball. You are briefly stunned when it happened, you realize it was fun while it lasted, but everyone’s gotta have a turn.

Out of 5 Jamaican Lion Roars Mon

Grub 2: The food we had was alright but I have to say that everything else looked pretty sketchy and peering into the kitchen didn’t instill any sense of reassurance.
Scene 3: It was kind of interesting who went in there. There were workers, a couple of people who appeared to be tourists, and a few other random folks who were in and out. Strangely t seemed like it was mostly men in there. I doubt you would see any Kits types in there.
Coffee 1: The coffee was terrible. I think they had an espresso machine in there. In fact I am pretty sure it was a Saeco Barrista from Starbucks that looked like an alley cat after a night out with the Feline Fight Club.
Note: If you every have a hankering to play two person head to head table top Pac Man from the early 80’s, this place uses one of those exact machines as their tables by the windows.

The McDeal on the McCoffee

When I kept hearing strange murmurs about McDonald's having great coffee, I had to try it myself. It seems as though Mickey D's has taken a page out of Timmy Ho's by asking what you want in your coffee before you receive it so they can given you a false sense of having a custom made coffee. I took cream with no sugar and waited for my little morning liquid supplement to arrive. When I first tried it, the thought of McDonald's "Too Hot Coffee Scandal" ran through my mind. "Will I burn my tongue immediately and be unable to taste the coffee or will I hate it right off the bat?" I have to say my pessimistic views tainted my perspective before The coffee hit my lips. I peeled back the lid and took my first few slurps.

At first I thought the coffee was too hot and too bitter, but as I started slurping down a little bit more my opinions started to change. Perhaps it was some caffeine kicking in, or maybe the cream was finally mixing in with some of the coffee, or I secretly really wanted to like the coffee. Whatever it was I found myself enjoying the little cup of joe. The taste mellowed out and the little cup of coffee that could did it for me.

I actually picked the coffee up in a Bacon and Egg McMuffin with a hash brown for about 5 bucks. The McDonald's on Main near terminal is sketchy at best but serves your McFare the way you McExpect it.

Out of 5 McStars

Scene: 1 - Stay out of there if you can. There is a swanky McDonald's higher up Main around 30th, but the McD's on Main and Terminal is a semi convenient locale for commuters and a great place to go if you have collected enough cans and bottles to buy a McMeal.

Grub: 2 - Okay. It is a bit of a guilty pleasure but I know the food is not good for me which is why I can only rank it as a 2 at its McBest.

Coffee: 2 - Utilitarian. But, as far as brewed utilitarian coffee went, this wasn't bad. In fact it was better than the utilitarian swill I have at work which makes it a really high two. However, let's face it, a 3 means it has to be as good as a mediocre Americano. So until the McAmericano comes along this McRating stays.

Salt and Pepper Needs More Spice

From the outside it looks like a part of the Best Western Hotel Restaurant, and for the most part, it is. The inside has that “family restaurant” feel but with less style. It is pretty sterile inside and the front deck faces Kingsway. I thought that I might be able to sit there a while, pick up a wireless signal and do a bit of work. However, not only is the décor not something to look at, but the furniture physically doesn’t allow you to sit there for long. I sat on the bench near the front door and I have sat in church pews that were more inviting.

The food was actually pretty good. It was your $6.50 breakfast with 2 eggs, bacon (3 strips) or ham, pancakes or toast and hash browns with a cup of coffee. The coffee was utilitarian, but the bacon crispy and the eggs made to order. The service was also commendable. The lone waitress appeared to run a tight ship. The food arrived promptly, the coffee refilled quickly and the service unobtrusive. If you are in a hurry and want to stop in for a quick breakfast to get you going this is definitely the spot. It is definitely better than a drive though, but not quite a sit down and stay a while.

Out of 5 Dashes of Salt

Scene: 1 – Some locals- and I don’t mean Main street hipsters – perhaps a hotel guest maybe two and aside from that dead zone. Next door there is a little pub type of area but I can’t imagine it being much of a place to hang out. I overheard a couple of people trying to figure out why the place doesn’t draw in a lunch or dinner crowd in spite of the menu options. Anybody could look around and see that this place some character, and I don’t mean the kind you will find in Best Western chains across North America.
Grub: 3 – Pretty good breakfast stuff for a fair price - shame about the locale. The portions are modest but what they lack in quantities, they make up in service.
Coffee: 2 – Utilitarian. I have to say it is actually closer to a one because it was a little bit watered down.

Sorry, it must have been another Barney I know.

Deja vu? And I'm not just talking about seeing a second Bean Around the World on Main street just off Broadway. I'm talking about the fact that BATW is right next to Cafe Barney just like the BATW location on South Granville. The two joints took over the restaurant and cafe formerly known as Monsoon and Soma (Soma has a new location which opened fall '07 in the old vegan bistro formerly known as Hatch).

Cafe Barney has a clean décor like a Pier 1 showroom. It's seemingly more spacious and airy than its predecessor. The staff seem like it is going for hiring the Main street kind of gals and it is serving up a lot of the same fare that it has at its Granville location. To be honest, although the restaurant has history on the Granville strip, I wasn't all that impressed with this Cafe B. In the huevos rancheros I had,it claimed that it had fresh salsa but it was jarred salsa with some tomatoes cut up and added in, and my co-host seemed to be a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of sausage in her omlette. I know that I am treading in areas that I don't normally go but I have to say that my first impression of Cafe Barney was a little bit disappointing.

Will I go back again? Of course I will. The food was not so bad that I was repulsed into never returning. I just won't get the huevos rancheros again. The place has just opened in the past couple of months so they must have a few kinks to work out just like any other joint.

As for the coffee? I didn't actually have any. It looked just like any other utilitarian coffee I've ever had, even at Barney's on Granville. I'll just have to come back and have a second look at the cafe I thought I recognized.

Out of 5 soft poached huevos

Scene: 3 Very nice people. Our server was accommodating and attentive. As far as the rest of the staff? After working in restaurants when I was younger, I was always told having conversations about your social life out amongst customers while doing prep work was tacky. I can now see why.
As for the clientel, the people in there seemed mostly like the people who I mentioned who would search for this kind of food. Maybe they were people from South Granville who were playing tourist in the SOMA area.

Grub: 2 Like I said it wasn't repulsive. The menu had some variation but pretty straight up like a Pier 1 showroom. If you are looking for your up front no surprises, non vegan, non obscure vegetable prepared on a regular stove, then this place would be great.

Coffee: TBA – I'm going to assume it's utilitarian. I doubt that I will go with an americano the next time I go there even though it is probably offered on the menu. If I feel like an americano, I would rather walk the extra ten meters and go to BATW next door.

Gene, Gene the Coffee Machine

Gene is one of the latest little coffee shops to open on Main... or is it Kingsway? It can be found on that little pie wedge of a block that points north and overlooks downtown framed by Main and Kingsway. It is actually the ideal little location for those who are waiting for that #8 Fraser bus or for those who have just made their latest purchase from Pulp Fiction a few doors up.

The folks we saw in this place were young hipsters sipping their straight espresso shots and working on their Macs. They went well with the decor of 180 degree view through the super tall windows, the minimalist industrial feel of the pipe fixtures and the institutional furniture - and by that I mean the chairs and stools that can be found in any elementary school. All of the accessories had very clean lines (I actually really like their saucers with the off center cup well). It appears to still be a work in progress, but it is shaping up to be a very cool place. We are hoping that they will be able to get a permit for the steel tables and chairs outside to create that Euro feel.

The Americano I had was smooth (there was a potential danger of the barrista adding too much water which was quickly averted) with a little bit more of a bitter taste than what I usually go for, but very good nonetheless. I don't know where they get their baked goods from but the 'power muffin' that I had was filling and tasty filled with a variety of nuts, dates and chocolate. I am sure that there will be more food items on the menu once th place has finished up a bit more and got its feet wet. Maybe they should star getting baked goods from the people at Re-Entry? Hmm?

Note: I had to laugh as we left the cafe. If you remember to go out the Main Street exit, check out the little handle sign. It has a clipped out picture of Sean Penn with the caption "Don't push me!"


Out of 5 Sean Penn Punches

Scene: 4 - It has great potential to be a very happening place and not just because a community center is opening across the street from it. The views are spectacular, the people are almost too hip but the place is still shaping up.

Grub: 3 - There really wasn't a whole lot to offer but what we had was great. Hopefully, as I mentioned before, the place is still in the midst of getting its act in order.

Coffee: 4 - The coffee was great. However, indicate how much water they put in the americano if you are particular. The coffee was a little bit too cool when it was served which can kill the coffee if you're not careful. Otherwise I would definitely go back again. In fact I know I will when they get a little bit get a bit more grounded.