Sorry, it must have been another Barney I know.

Deja vu? And I'm not just talking about seeing a second Bean Around the World on Main street just off Broadway. I'm talking about the fact that BATW is right next to Cafe Barney just like the BATW location on South Granville. The two joints took over the restaurant and cafe formerly known as Monsoon and Soma (Soma has a new location which opened fall '07 in the old vegan bistro formerly known as Hatch).

Cafe Barney has a clean décor like a Pier 1 showroom. It's seemingly more spacious and airy than its predecessor. The staff seem like it is going for hiring the Main street kind of gals and it is serving up a lot of the same fare that it has at its Granville location. To be honest, although the restaurant has history on the Granville strip, I wasn't all that impressed with this Cafe B. In the huevos rancheros I had,it claimed that it had fresh salsa but it was jarred salsa with some tomatoes cut up and added in, and my co-host seemed to be a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of sausage in her omlette. I know that I am treading in areas that I don't normally go but I have to say that my first impression of Cafe Barney was a little bit disappointing.

Will I go back again? Of course I will. The food was not so bad that I was repulsed into never returning. I just won't get the huevos rancheros again. The place has just opened in the past couple of months so they must have a few kinks to work out just like any other joint.

As for the coffee? I didn't actually have any. It looked just like any other utilitarian coffee I've ever had, even at Barney's on Granville. I'll just have to come back and have a second look at the cafe I thought I recognized.

Out of 5 soft poached huevos

Scene: 3 Very nice people. Our server was accommodating and attentive. As far as the rest of the staff? After working in restaurants when I was younger, I was always told having conversations about your social life out amongst customers while doing prep work was tacky. I can now see why.
As for the clientel, the people in there seemed mostly like the people who I mentioned who would search for this kind of food. Maybe they were people from South Granville who were playing tourist in the SOMA area.

Grub: 2 Like I said it wasn't repulsive. The menu had some variation but pretty straight up like a Pier 1 showroom. If you are looking for your up front no surprises, non vegan, non obscure vegetable prepared on a regular stove, then this place would be great.

Coffee: TBA – I'm going to assume it's utilitarian. I doubt that I will go with an americano the next time I go there even though it is probably offered on the menu. If I feel like an americano, I would rather walk the extra ten meters and go to BATW next door.

Gene, Gene the Coffee Machine

Gene is one of the latest little coffee shops to open on Main... or is it Kingsway? It can be found on that little pie wedge of a block that points north and overlooks downtown framed by Main and Kingsway. It is actually the ideal little location for those who are waiting for that #8 Fraser bus or for those who have just made their latest purchase from Pulp Fiction a few doors up.

The folks we saw in this place were young hipsters sipping their straight espresso shots and working on their Macs. They went well with the decor of 180 degree view through the super tall windows, the minimalist industrial feel of the pipe fixtures and the institutional furniture - and by that I mean the chairs and stools that can be found in any elementary school. All of the accessories had very clean lines (I actually really like their saucers with the off center cup well). It appears to still be a work in progress, but it is shaping up to be a very cool place. We are hoping that they will be able to get a permit for the steel tables and chairs outside to create that Euro feel.

The Americano I had was smooth (there was a potential danger of the barrista adding too much water which was quickly averted) with a little bit more of a bitter taste than what I usually go for, but very good nonetheless. I don't know where they get their baked goods from but the 'power muffin' that I had was filling and tasty filled with a variety of nuts, dates and chocolate. I am sure that there will be more food items on the menu once th place has finished up a bit more and got its feet wet. Maybe they should star getting baked goods from the people at Re-Entry? Hmm?

Note: I had to laugh as we left the cafe. If you remember to go out the Main Street exit, check out the little handle sign. It has a clipped out picture of Sean Penn with the caption "Don't push me!"


Out of 5 Sean Penn Punches

Scene: 4 - It has great potential to be a very happening place and not just because a community center is opening across the street from it. The views are spectacular, the people are almost too hip but the place is still shaping up.

Grub: 3 - There really wasn't a whole lot to offer but what we had was great. Hopefully, as I mentioned before, the place is still in the midst of getting its act in order.

Coffee: 4 - The coffee was great. However, indicate how much water they put in the americano if you are particular. The coffee was a little bit too cool when it was served which can kill the coffee if you're not careful. Otherwise I would definitely go back again. In fact I know I will when they get a little bit get a bit more grounded.

Coffee@home with the Saeco Barrista from Starbucks

Over the Christmas I was given two huge bags of coffee from an Ultimate Frisbee team that I mentor appropriately named the Icecaps. I have been using these beans for the past two months making my own espresso on a Saeco Barrista or Rio Profi - yes, the espresso machine found on the shelves of every local Starschmucks. I have been experimenting with the long and short espresso, the milk steamer, the facility of machine use and, naturally, the beans.

Overall the machine has been consistent in pressure and ease operation. The downsides to the machine are the cheap accessories: the wimpy little coffee scoop, the absence of a tamper, the wimpy drip tray and this faux drawer that they think you will store stuff in. If you can accept the cheap periferrals because you will are planning to buy more quality accessories from Starschmucks, then you'll be fine. I actually take the whole tray set out to make room for a proper cup when pressing the espresso to minimize the loss of any crema. It means that my coffee won't necessarily look pretty, but the taste is preserved.

The mlk frother is adequate but the steam pressure doesn't always keep its strength for very long. If you don't clear the steamer well in the beginning, you may fill your milk with an extra shot of water that will dilute the flavour in your drink. I actually picked up the 'cheating' trick from my wife who throws the milk in the microwave to help warm up the milk (she likes her coffee hot) to alow the frother to froth and not just to warm the milk up. The draw back is the little milk skin that forms with higher fat content milk and that ever precarious point of scalding the milk. When frothing, choose a container that allows for the milk to swirl around to avoid splashing, and start the frother deep for even heating. If you are trying to froth the milk slowly pull the conatiner lower until you hear that sound created when you are hocking a loogey while clenching your teeth - an unappetising description but an accurate one.

When dealing with the pressure when pressing the espresso, the machine is able to draw out decent flavour. You just can't over pack the grounds in the filter holder, nor can the grounds be ultra fine. Either one can throw off the water pressure leaving you with lifeless watery espresso with no crema and a mediochre taste, not to mention 10 minutes of your life you will not get back. When the pressure is turned on and the water is making its way through the grounds, a smooth darth caramel coloured stream should flow steadily in two thin lines. The trick is to pay attention to when the colour starts to fade which indicates when to shut off the water pressure. You can try to milk the crema but the flavour starts to deteriorate when the crema turns from caramel to a vanilla white. The white just means that you are pulling water through dead grounds. Unlike higher end models of Saeco Machines, this one leaves it up to the "barrista" to measure the length and the quality of the pull.

I guess my overall impression of this machine is a good one. People love to come over and have a coffee and talk about the minutia of the espresso machine.

Out of 5 Starschmuck accessories
Quality of Machine: 4 People I have spoken to who have this machine swear by it. It's a good one. You pay a bit more but if you make coffee from it consistently it wil pay itself back quickly. I've had mine for over a couple of years and it remains as good as when I got it. Watch the handle on the filter. If you try to tap out the grounds after pressing your espresso, the handle may come loose. You can't really do that big banging thing they do it cafe's. This is afterall the "home model".
User Friendliness: 3 It is easy to use but you have to do some experimentation to get good quality coffee out of it. Once you know how you like the espresso, the more likely you will be able to make better customed coffees for you and your loved ones. If people don't really pay attention, but they think they know what they are doing, you just get watered down espresso that doesn't really qualify as an espresso drink.
Overall design and look: 3 Like I said, the little drawer is cheesy, the accessories are lame, and the water resevoir is a little bit awkward to fill. The look is nice because you can get it in different colours, mine is black which is neutral enough to go with most decors.
Overall satisfaction: 4 Despite the quirks in the design the machine is decent. Good quality pressure is what you should care about, and getting to know the machine is half the battle. Although the machine is not prefect I love that little kitchen appliance just the same.

Our Town Ain't no Bean Town ...Yet

Our Town is the kind of coffee shop that I would have thought I would enjoy hanging about more in. Inside there is a multilevel seating which provides a nice perspective for people watching. There is also a nice little couch area in there and they serve coffee there! However, it isn't really the first place that pops in to mind when I think I want to go somewhere for a cuppa. There is no weakness in the strength of their coffee, they serve baked goods and sandwiches, and there seems to be a steady group of people who flow in and out out like any corner coffee house. The main south wall is a giant window that lets all kinds of sun in and yet, it still doesn't do it for me. Although from a coffee business standpoint it has some excellent qualities, I still feel that it is lacking some character of some kind. The Little House on the Prairie Oleson's General Mercantile meets the New Hampton decor just doesn't do it for me. Yes, it is still another puzzle piece in the eclectic Main Street style, but for my personal tastes it seems to fall flat. It's not that I dislike it, I just don't love it. If you are looking for a blow your head off and keep my body twitching for hours four shot Americano - which I made an absolute mistake in doing one day - go for it. I think I did it because the price difference between a 2-shot and a 4-shot seemed so minor at the time, and I thought, "Hey, why not?" I'm better now. It took a little self hugging and rocking and someone to help talk me down, but I'm good.

Out of Five Oleson's Mercantile licorice whips

Scene - 2 Sorry all you regulars, but it did nothing for me. There didn't seem to have that buzz one kind of gets when you walk into a coffee house. Everyone seemed like they were too sedated or over caffeinated despite the 4-shot Amercianos available.

Grub - 3 The baked good I had there was so-so, but they did have a some variety. If I am not mistaken though, it seemed to me that things were all wrapped up in cellophane which tells me it's at least a day old, or they close up early.

Coffee - 2 better than utilitarian, but there really wasn't anything extra special about them. I remember there were blended drinks and they seemed either too sweet or not sweet enough. I think they need a little training on maximizing crema and reducing bitterness as well. It's like I said, the place has potential but there are just a few things that haven't been solved yet.

Tastes of Prada; Looks like Prado

Commercial wasn't exactly on the hit list of Coffee Houses, but when I was invited to taste the coffee, it had to make it on. Upon first appearances, the actual coffee house is pretty bare bones. It kind of reminded me of one of those old brick buildings that has been converted into a studio or gallery space where everything is sparsely decorated so that it doesn't take away from the art work. For this coffee, I would say that the decor was on target. It has the exposed support beams, the power washed fire brick exterior, the bone paint colour with the stainless steel accents on the counter. Most tables are meant for two, the chairs are a dull aluminum and the place is almost all windows. All of the people behind he counter were the friendly cool Commercial cats, each with their individual statements pronounced by the asymmetircal alternative haircuts. While I was there, there seemed to be a diverse clientele, all of whom were representatives of the neighbourhood (Strangely enough, there were many people on laptops and all sitting in the same direction. From what I gathered from a couple of people who have also been there, they all noticed that same phenomenon.) Based on some pretty loose research, Prado gets its coffee from 49th Parallel, the home-bean-base for Artigiano. At first glance I could tell by that thick smooth brown crema frothing at the three quarter level of my mug that I was going to drink the Prada shoes of coffee beans. If they weren't from 49th Parallel, then they were another fine roast. Along with my Americano, I opted out of my usual banana loaf and tried their pear and almond loaf which I thought was a tasty little slice of moist nuttiness. Although I didn't stay long I would go back in a moment, knowing that the place served a smooth cup of coffee.

Out of 5 Brunette Assymetrical Hairdos

Scene: 5 Very relaxed atmosphere, where everyone seems welcome. There is something about the neighbourhood coffee house that brings people together. There were families in there amongst the tech heads, but I knew the place was a real 'hood' coffee house when the barista said to me, as I was holding the kid of a friend of mine, "He's really looking more and more like his father everyday." Either this is a place that knows it's customers, or my friend goes there too much.

Grub: 3 What was there looked good. I really only had the one thing but there didn't seem to be that much more. If there is any low grades , it is only because of the lack of variety.

Coffee: 5 I have to say that I just love that bean, and the barista knew how to draw out the crema. I even watched her as she did one of those Artigiano signature creamy leafs in a kid's hot chocolate. That's some coffee skills. A little note to the coffee debs out there. I was told that they have a tendency to make a traditional cappuccino a little on the wet side, and when I did specify to them that I wanted the mug to be filled three quarters full, I sensed a whiff of the "Buddy, we are not Starbucks with the special orders" kind of attitude. They still did as I requested and made the coffee, but I think if I pressed the issue, I think I would discover what kind of no-nonsense baristas they were.

Big 'C' now stands for Crave

One of the favoured brunch spots, Big C, about four years back turned into a new restaurant of a forgettable name which then turned into what is now known as Crave. After visitng Crave a couple of times now, I have had the pleasant surprise of delicious food, almost over the top polite service, and delicious food. The restaurant has a beautiful little patio in the back that has a pleasant little zen-ish garden thing happening there. ( I actually think that they have speakers in the shape of rocks so that the speakers don't interfere with the theme they have going on back there.) I recently visited the place for brunch and found the food to be quite good, and with healthy portions. I wouldn't say that I would rave for Crave but I certainly wouldn't direct people away from it. They had a couple of things that I thought looked good. It had these crazy large pancakes that came in a triple stack that looked very fluffy and came with an in house fruity compote. I don't know how these flap jacks stacked up to Bert's but I may have to revisit the place just to taste these. The second thing that caught my eye was the panatone french toast. The person I went with said that the panatone toast wasn't "quite as 'eggy'" as he would have liked them, which I can appreciate, but they weren't bad. I don't know how they stack up against Seb's banana bread french toast but I can bet they aren't nearly as rich. As far as the decor and ambience goes, I would say that it is a little more Pier 1-ish than the other eclectic- artsy places on Main. It has big black and white prints, contemporary smashed glass designer dividers, a roll up garage door to the outside front patio, and the little zen patio out back. It filled quite quickly, and maintained the old school Big C brunch time line up - so go early.


Out of 5 sweet and juicy turkey sausages

Scene: 3 The scene was good. The service was great. The people who were there seemed like they were the "just west of Ontario Street, but liked to venture to the east side to take in the action". It did seem a little out of place for what one might expect on Main, but if Main is about a mixed bag of style, then throw this one into the mix.

Grub: 4 I had the standard 2 eggs any style, toast, hashed brown potatoes, and these delicious turkey sausages. I had no complaints, but I know that I could get the same thing somewhere else for less - everything but those sausages. However, the specialty breakfasts mentioned above did pique my interest for yet another visit.

Coffee: 3 Well, the friends and a nice place to chill was fulfilled, but the coffee is yet to be desired. It seemed pretty utilitarian, but then again, they served an americano but keep in mind it was served at a restaurant which is not really made to any particular specification.

Saltspring Island Coffee Company comes to Main land

Once Saltspring Island Coffee Company took over the locale of the old Coffee Cow, I have taken SSICC into consideration of places to go for a brew. Although I have deep respect for ex-Canuck Cliff Ronning #7, previous owner of Coffee Cow, the name Coffee Cow was a terrible name. (Are you calling customers cows? Are you calling the servers cows? Are you saying that the coffee comes directly from a cow and we are practically drinking directly from its teets for the freshest brew making all of us calves? I don't know if I am insulted or grossed out.) SSICC has an excellent locale where they have wisely made almost all the walls into glass on a lovely corner next to a crosswalk with the long side of the shop being a row of south facing set of tables and chairs. The baking seems pretty standard, as is the other food, and the coffee is acceptable when you get what you want. If anything, the way you get your coffee, much like the service, is a little bit hit and miss. There are times when the coffee and service is exactly as you had hoped, making the coffee experience lovely. Then there are the times when you ask for your americano three quarters full in the smaller size cup and you practically get an extra water americano in a large cup. If only the coffee and the service was a little bit more consistent, I think I would frequent the place a little more. With so many coffee shops on Main where I know I will get what I want, what is making me stop out front aside from the crosswalk? I would say that the real coffee felony about this place is just how it is so average. It's got a good locale. It's bumped up some of the decor. Now let's see about the food, service and personality.


Out of 5 Coffee Cow Teets

Scene: 3 - Only because of its south facing row of table and chairs. It make the place warm and the extra space makes it stroller friendly for those Main Street parents to park out their pimped out prams.
Grub: 3 Average to really average. You'll get what you are looking for but I doubt anyone will write home about it.
Coffee: 3 Average. Like I mention up top, it's hit and miss. Hope you get more hits that misses.